Posted by Jordan
I came home for a brief lunch break today, and Naivie started following me around asking, "Daddy, whaddya doing? Whaddya doing? Whaddya doing?"
I answer: "Making a sandwich."
The next second: "Daddy?"
"What?"
"Whaddya doing?"
"I'm putting mayonnaise on my sandwich."
"Daddy, whaddya doing?"
"I'm getting out the ham."
"Daddy whaddya doing?"
"I'M SLICING TOMATOES!"
"Daddy--"
"WHAT???!!!"
"...whaddya doing?"
(Deep breath): "I'm sitting down to eat my sandwich, Dear!"
"...Daddy?"
(Mouth full): "Naivie!! I'm eating my sandwich!!! Now go ask mommy what she's doing."
I realized that all of my responses to my child's question bear an uncanny resemblance to the mindless status updates that people post on facebook every five minutes. I've heard that Twitter is even worse, but I wouldn't know. Sorry, friends... but get a life. I mean, seriously.
I've decided to create a facebook account for Naivie, so that she can sit there and ask all of her facebook friends "Whaddya doing? Whaddya doing? Whaddya doing?" every second of every day. She will be absolutely delighted to know that there are millions of people that would not only be thrilled to run to the computer dozens of times each day to answer that question over and over again, but that actually make it a priority in their daily routine whether or not anyone asks or even cares.
"Jordan is putting mayonnaise on his sandwich."
"Jordan is about to tie his shoes."
"Jordan is getting sleepy."
"Jordan is reading the news."
"Jordan is waiting for a phone call from a friend."
...But you know what? That friend will never call! After all, why talk when you can Tweet?! Why take the time and effort to speak to a friend, when a text message of 160 characters or less says pretty much everything you have on your mind?!
When I was visiting my parents in Moab not long ago, my dad was watching Jay Leno. He was talking about twittering, and facebook, and texting. He said something like: "You'd think that this would have been invented first, and then later they would come up with an invention where you can actually talk to the person." Brilliant, Jay.
So... friends...
...whaddya doing?
4 comments:
Awesome Jordan! So true!
Ha ha, Jordan, you're so funny. I feel the exact same way about Facebook. And Twittering? Are you kidding me? I can't imagine being so interested in someone's life that I would want to know what they are doing at all hours of the day. Maybe they need to get a pet or something. Or even just start small, like a plant.
Thou hast spoken profound truths! It is so funny when my friends get new fancy toys like the boysenberry phone or ipod nanu nanu with all their high speed super 3G internet connection and blue tooth what have ya! Indeed, they are very impressive with all the fantabulous and spectacular capabilities such as locating some obscure restaurant in downtown Tuba City or finding your way out of the Siberian Wilderness with its new interactive compass. I think you can even download your favorite smells. But after what seems like hours of demos of these life-saving features, one question still comes to my mind... "Will that thing make a phone call?"
Amen, Brother.
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