BLOCKED: Inappropriate Content!

Posted by Jordan

So apparently I am not allowed to talk about B-R-E-A-$-T-S on my blog, not even if the word is in reference to boneless chicken in a dutch oven recipe.

Not long after publishing the previous post, my mother called and asked me what in the world I posted on my blog that would cause her parental internet filter to block my site for inappropriate content. I thought for a moment, then responded that, other than a few n-u-d-e pictures of myself (tastefully done, I assured her), I had absolutely no idea.

So I went back through my post, scouring the text with my mind in the gutter, trying to figure out what could possibly be tripping her filter.

Then I found it, staring me right in the face: "l a r g e b-r-e-a-$-t-s". Just popping right out at me! And not only that. but "s m a l l b-r-e-a-$-t-s" as well, in the very same sentence!

It was in the Pepsi Chicken recipe. A CHICKEN RECIPE! For Pete's sake. I wonder if it would block me for talking about chicken nuggets? Sheesh. Just in case anyone is worried about the vulnerable minds of their teenage sons the next time you are dutch oven cooking, please, substitute wings or drumsticks in the recipe. But not thighs.

Well, I certainly understand how a text-scanning filter might pick up on the sentence that included both "s m a l l b-r-e-a-$-t-s" and "l a r g e b-r-e-a-$-t-s" in the same sentence as potentially inappropriate for my little brother's eyes. So when we visited Moab for Paul Louthan's wedding reception, I had a visit with my dad and brothers, wherein we revisited our perverse teenager-hood trying to think of words to substitute for "b-r-e-a-$-t-s" on my blog. We never did settle on anything that could be considered appropriate.

So, Mom, in order that you might be able to continue to visit our blog and see pictures of your grandchildren, I have changed the words "l a r g e b-r-e-a-$-t-s" to "large fillets". You should now be able to visit my blog without being blocked by your filter. Unless I mentioned something in this post that might have set it off...