So, two of you guessed the correct answer. Here's what went on in my brain (more or less) when I was listening to the radio last week:
The host, Dom, said that a good third of the people sitting in any given movie theater - thirty seven percent - have something in common. So I started thinking of all the classifiable traits that could be applied to me when I myself go to the movies.
My first thought was that 37% undo the top button of their pants, so as to be more comfortable during the movie. Turns out, 37% of people don't have a gut as big as mine.
My second thought was that 37% of people in the theater secretly wish that they had a voice like the movie trailer guy. Also not the right answer.
After the host gave the clue that it had something to do with snacks, the answer was immediately obvious to me: I am a poor boy. I love to have snacks during the movie, but WHO can honestly afford to pay $4.00 for a box of sour patch kids and $2.50 for a medium soda? Not I! So whenever I go to the movies, I usually get my snacks ahead of time at the grocery store, including an ice-cold can of pop, and stuff them into Jaicee's purse.
Now, true story:
But how? Popcorn is voluminous and not as readily concealed as candy or a 12-oz canned beverage. Where on earth can one conceal on one's person the contents of a large bucket of popcorn? There had to be a way to pull it off.
Maybe the key was to bring it in UN-popped? Bag of kernels and an air popper during the previews?
Okay, bad idea.
Hey! How about popping it all at home, I dig out my baggiest pair of pajama pants, and we stuff them full...
Okay, as good an idea as that sounded at first, I pictured myself waddling into the theater with these big, poofy legs, and I had to shake my head and laugh, because of course, nobody wants to eat popcorn that has been in somebody's pants.
But in all seriousness, we did decide that pre-popped and under the clothes would be the only way. Lucky for us, it was winter. SO we popped a bag of popcorn and put it under the front of Jaicee's coat and pretended that she was pregnant.
Seriously. In case anyone was watching from the theater lobby or ticket booth, I went around the front of the car and helped Jaicee carefully out of her seat, while she convincingly held her back and stomach. Having never actually been pregnant at that point in our lives, I have to give her credit for acting out a very authentic third term.
We got our tickets, went confidently past the theater workers in the lobby, found our seats, and proceeded to lovingly caress, coddle, and coo over Jaicee's beautiful, full-term tummy.
As soon as the previews started, her butter suddenly broke, and she delivered a perfect, healthy bag of popcorn. Still warm. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
Once the movie was over, and we had nothing left but the bag, we looked at each other and had the horrid realization that if any of the theater workers happened to remember us going in, they would know...
...we ate our baby during the movie.
So we booked it out of the theater like it was on fire, and went home, laughing all the way.
Yes JILL and AMANDA, you guessed CORRECTLY!!! When you are at the movies, 37% of the people sitting around you in the theater have THIS in common:
THEY SNUCK IN THEIR OWN SNACKS!!
I knew the answer. I knew the answer, but I couldn't get through!
It should have been me.
5 comments:
That's awesome! What a hilarious story! So true though! I'm not at all surprised! Theatres really shouldn't jack up their prices on their snacks so much - it's ridiculous!
Oh, I'm a little embarrassed that I guessed that after someone else already did...you probably think I just read the others guesses, thought that was the best guess and used it as my own.
No, I would never be so obvious in my attempt to win. I'm sure though, that I read all the other guesses. Maybe I read all the others but that one and I just had a brilliant streak and guessed right?? My second guess WAS right after all.
Or maybe I did read all the other guesses, and then later I just thought I had thought of the right answer, when really, subconsiously, I was re-using someone elses guess?
No, I'm sure of it. I remember, cause I too thought of what I do at the movie. I am ALWAYS done with my snacks (wether I snuck them in myself, or paid for them at the concessions) right after the previews are done and before the movie has a chance to get going. That answer was wrong, so the only other thing I could think of that we do (that involved snacks at all) was sneak in our own snacks.
I have to say though, I've never snuck in my own popcorn. That one was a streak of genious. I'm just glad you didn't use the pajama pants option, although that's really your business, not mine.
Anyway, glad to know the rest of the story!
I don't know why I didn't think of that first! We ALWAYS go to the store first and stock up on candy and sneak it in. We've never tried popcorn before though. Hahaha. Thanks for the good laugh!
Okay, I have to admit that we've smuggled popcorn in before too in my purse. I hate spending money at the movie theater.
Jordan you are hilarious. You should be writing a column (for some other publication than your blog)!
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